Apparently, we are all neurotic and crazy. The reason being that our 'ego' has extended far beyond the boundaries of our natural body and identifies with too many conceptual symbols like our house, our bank account, our friends, our social status. According to buddhist psychology, this is the root of neurotism and ultimately of human suffering.
In fact the 4 Noble Truths state:
1. Life means suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the IGNORANCE thereof.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable. We need to realize that reality is impermanent.
4. The Path to the end of suffering: the practice of the Eightfold Path.
Buddhahood is the natural state of non-neurotism. A buddha is someone that has conquered serenity and can maintain it in every situation.
To become a buddha, you need to put in some efforts especially when trying to achieve the first power, the CONTROL OF THE MIND. Let's not fool ourselves here. There is no way we can stop thinking tout court because thoughts that produce suffering are the automatic product of the tension registered in our memory and, ironically, they reproduce themselves continuously. But at least we can try to observe our thoughts instead of identyfing with them now that we know they are a product of our unconsciuos being . This way they'll gradually loose strenghts and reduce their ability to upset us.
The thing is that you can't control your mind without calming your body first and that's where the importance of breathing comes up. Calm your breath, relax your body, observe your thoughts and emotions and let them go knowing they are a product of our unconscious selves.
And which better place to become a buddha than Japan? Last night I decided to practice zazen, a particular kind of Zen meditation. Perfect as it focuses on the breathing.
I headed to Yotsuya after work. I arrived late and as expected got lost inside the University campus before finding this old, wooden European-style building that serves as a Christian chapel. I wasn't expecting a temple but a chapel!? The room had high ceilings and resembled an old German living room, a dozen of people were sitting facing the walls, meditating. The teacher, a German professor of philosophy, seemed to be 200 years old. Tall, white and so skinny. During the pause he tought me how to sit and meditate:
Body positioning:
Use a small pillow to raise the behind just a little, so that the knees can touch the ground. Sit in the half lotus position, where the left foot is placed up onto the right thigh and the right leg is tucked under.
The spine must be straight with the lower part of the back curved to allow the diaphragm to move freely.
The mouth is kept closed.
The tongue is pressed lightly against the upper palate.
The eyes are kept lowered, with your gaze resting on the ground about two or three feet in front of you.
The chin is slightly tucked in.
The dominant hand is held palm up holding the other hand, also palm up. The thumbs are lightly touching thus the hands form an oval, which can rest on the upturned soles of your feet.
Breathing: breath through the nose and taste the breath. Keep your attention on your belly and the breath. Imagine the breath coming down into your belly and returning from there. Your exhalation should be longer than usual.
By focusing on the breathing I am supposed to reach a good level of concentration that will allow me to come to a point of deep rest. Let go of noisy thoughts, opinions, positions to uncover the mind, to see who I really am. Finally, ENLIGHTED.
I can't really say I managed to see who I am... I spent most of the time feeling pain in my legs and cheating on the half lotus position so as to concentrate on the breath. Even then, I felt so cold in that room that I kept thinking about a warm bath once at home and maybe minestrone for dinner... But I must say that a couple of times for a few seconds I had no thoughts occurring in my mind. If only I hadn't started to think that I was having no thoughts!!!
No worries. I am intrigued and I'll be there next Thursday because after attaining a good control of the mind, I will learn to be present in the real world rather than absorbed in the world of my mind and therefore be aware of the the impermanent nature of reality, I will stop feeling attached and finally discover what universal love really means.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Taxi Tales
My next book for sure -if it hadn't been written in Nihongo: Takushi Uramonogatari, by Masayoshi Ise (Saizusha, 2008, 228 pp).
The cab as love hotel
Most of the time, couples are able to hold it in until they get to their destination. But in reality, love hotels fill up on weekends, so it’s common for couples to “do it” in the taxi. The driver’s blind spot is the seat behind him, so that’s where they start. These couples seem to think that the driver is as nonexistent as air. For some reason, I more frequently see women going down on the man than I see the man and the woman kissing each other. And I’m not sure if women have become stronger in this day and age, but it’s mostly the women who start going down on the man, rather than the man trying to convince the female.If a couple says “Sorry” as they pay their fare and leave the cab, that’s a dangerous sign because there’s a high possibility that they’ve left a little “souvenir” in the backseat. There is nothing as pathetic as having to clean that up.
“Stop by at the conbini, please”
So one day, a 20-year-old guy asks me to stop at a nearby Lawson when we’re about ¥5,000 into his ride. He leaves his bag in the car and is gone for five minutes, then ten. Just as I start to get suspicious, he comes back and says the ATM was out of order and, apologizing for the wait, hands me an energy drink. I thought, “What a nice guy!” With that, we start up a conversation, and he tells me how his bag is a limited-edition release that cost him over ¥100,000.As we get closer to his destination, he asks to stop at another conbini, and he leaves his bag in the car again. I wait for ten minutes, then 15. No sign of him. The meter has gone up to ¥11,900. Getting worried, I go out and search the conbini. There’s no trace of him—he had run off. Of course, I had to pay the fare myself, but I decided it wasn’t all that bad because I could put the man’s bag up for sale on an internet auction as soon as I got home.Later, just as I was about to leave the locker room for the day, I saw my co-worker with the same bag.“Wasn’t that expensive?” I asked.“No way,” he replied. “It’s from the ¥100 shop. Oh, look you have one, too. Isn’t it useful?”
The diaper issue
I was driving a woman on a long ¥10,000 ride, part of which was on a crowded highway. I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I had sweat dripping down my forehead. I knew I couldn’t hold it anymore and something needed to be done.I checked on the young woman in the back and, confirming that she was asleep (thank goodness!), I took out a plastic bag that I always have at hand for drunk customers and slowly unzipped my pants. Phew. Later during the ride, I opened the door a crack to drop the bag on the street. When I looked in the rearview mirror, the woman was still sleeping—mission accomplished!Actually, not. As the lady was getting out, she smiled and said, “Life’s pretty difficult for drivers, isn’t it?”After that I went to buy diapers at the supermarket, where I ran into a co-worker who told me, “Once you start using them, you get hooked. Try it out!” Since that day, though, I have not had occasion to use them. I don’t want to start relying on diapers…
(From: Metropolis, issue #756)
A veteran Tokyo cabbie shares his war stories...
The cab as love hotel
Most of the time, couples are able to hold it in until they get to their destination. But in reality, love hotels fill up on weekends, so it’s common for couples to “do it” in the taxi. The driver’s blind spot is the seat behind him, so that’s where they start. These couples seem to think that the driver is as nonexistent as air. For some reason, I more frequently see women going down on the man than I see the man and the woman kissing each other. And I’m not sure if women have become stronger in this day and age, but it’s mostly the women who start going down on the man, rather than the man trying to convince the female.If a couple says “Sorry” as they pay their fare and leave the cab, that’s a dangerous sign because there’s a high possibility that they’ve left a little “souvenir” in the backseat. There is nothing as pathetic as having to clean that up.
“Stop by at the conbini, please”
So one day, a 20-year-old guy asks me to stop at a nearby Lawson when we’re about ¥5,000 into his ride. He leaves his bag in the car and is gone for five minutes, then ten. Just as I start to get suspicious, he comes back and says the ATM was out of order and, apologizing for the wait, hands me an energy drink. I thought, “What a nice guy!” With that, we start up a conversation, and he tells me how his bag is a limited-edition release that cost him over ¥100,000.As we get closer to his destination, he asks to stop at another conbini, and he leaves his bag in the car again. I wait for ten minutes, then 15. No sign of him. The meter has gone up to ¥11,900. Getting worried, I go out and search the conbini. There’s no trace of him—he had run off. Of course, I had to pay the fare myself, but I decided it wasn’t all that bad because I could put the man’s bag up for sale on an internet auction as soon as I got home.Later, just as I was about to leave the locker room for the day, I saw my co-worker with the same bag.“Wasn’t that expensive?” I asked.“No way,” he replied. “It’s from the ¥100 shop. Oh, look you have one, too. Isn’t it useful?”
The diaper issue
I was driving a woman on a long ¥10,000 ride, part of which was on a crowded highway. I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I had sweat dripping down my forehead. I knew I couldn’t hold it anymore and something needed to be done.I checked on the young woman in the back and, confirming that she was asleep (thank goodness!), I took out a plastic bag that I always have at hand for drunk customers and slowly unzipped my pants. Phew. Later during the ride, I opened the door a crack to drop the bag on the street. When I looked in the rearview mirror, the woman was still sleeping—mission accomplished!Actually, not. As the lady was getting out, she smiled and said, “Life’s pretty difficult for drivers, isn’t it?”After that I went to buy diapers at the supermarket, where I ran into a co-worker who told me, “Once you start using them, you get hooked. Try it out!” Since that day, though, I have not had occasion to use them. I don’t want to start relying on diapers…
(From: Metropolis, issue #756)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Love Doctor
I feel I am being perceived as The Love Doctor. Not by my girlfriends nor my sisters, not even by my boyfriend but... by my bosses. Yes, both of them and indipendently of one another. I spent the last week being heavily involved in their stories at the office. Different stories, sad and curious at the same time. Small, personal stories lost in the immensity of Tokyo.
The Japanese lady boss and I are having lunch at 'GARB', funky restaurant that opens up on the street in Marunouchi. The sun is gentle and the leaves of the trees around us are one big, stunning explosion of warm colors. Autumn is my favourite season in Japan and I can totally get into the 'momiji' mood, but I think it's a pity that many persons here cannot share the beauty of it with someone special. Tokyo is home to so many workaholic singles...
The Japanese lady boss and I are having lunch at 'GARB', funky restaurant that opens up on the street in Marunouchi. The sun is gentle and the leaves of the trees around us are one big, stunning explosion of warm colors. Autumn is my favourite season in Japan and I can totally get into the 'momiji' mood, but I think it's a pity that many persons here cannot share the beauty of it with someone special. Tokyo is home to so many workaholic singles...
Boss: 'Don't laugh please, I would like you to help me'
Me: 'Sure, go ahead'
Boss: 'Do you know any men for me? I want to meet someone that I can talk to but it is so difficult now that I am 40 and don't socialize as much as I did when my friends were also single. I feel so embarassed, don't laugh. I have given my best years to the company and now I want to take care of myself. You know what I mean, I need someone to spend my time with.'
Me: 'I see... Uhmm... I could take you along when I go to some parties... Have you ever checked the personal classifieds on the Metropolis magazine?
The male boss and I are having breakfast at Starbucks in the building next door because the one in our building only opens up at 11 AM. You might as well have lunch at 11 AM.
Me: 'Sure, go ahead'
Boss: 'Do you know any men for me? I want to meet someone that I can talk to but it is so difficult now that I am 40 and don't socialize as much as I did when my friends were also single. I feel so embarassed, don't laugh. I have given my best years to the company and now I want to take care of myself. You know what I mean, I need someone to spend my time with.'
Me: 'I see... Uhmm... I could take you along when I go to some parties... Have you ever checked the personal classifieds on the Metropolis magazine?
The male boss and I are having breakfast at Starbucks in the building next door because the one in our building only opens up at 11 AM. You might as well have lunch at 11 AM.
Married, successful, gaijin. They often say that once Japanese women have children, they stop being wives to become full-time mothers and that's why their men have lovers. My boss found himself a young Japanese girlfriend and she recently broke up with him (because he is already married of course).
Boss:'Sometimes women can push you too far... So at some point they should appreciate what they get... Or alternatively take the suicide approach... Strange to want to break up because you are too in love and can’t control yourself versus break up when you hate someone and aren't having a good time... There seem to be a self destruct button in many ladies these days.. I despair.. '
Me: 'Don't know, I guess it's the rational side of her telling that it's not a long-term, sustainable emotional investment and that she should walk away. '
Boss: 'Her final word before I hung up was she doesn’t understand me... Not sure if I want to keep revisiting this on a monthly basis... Everyone know what’s there... Why push for more? Even if I could, not sure I would offer more... God last things I would want is a lifetime of this... Seems to be a monthly ritual, where emotions play havoc and you are damned if you do and damned if you don't... '
Friday, November 14, 2008
Yellow fever and Western Dreams
Friday, Metropolis day. I read it while I was having a yummy dish of brown rice, autumn steamed veggies and tofu mini burgers at the pantry. Always thought that Natural Lawson is the best convenience store, where else do you get organic bento and natural cosmetics?Anyway, last part of the magazine, personal classifieds: a naughty laugh on how the East meets the West.
Men for Women
The sneaky male:
Married gentleman, early 40s, white, slim, attractive and polite, in Tokyo, seeks Japanese married or attached lady for sensual friendship and staying warm. Secret.
The rethoric guru:
Am I crazy? Maybe I am because I am looking for a serious relationship and no games! Is it possible? Maybe we can try... and see what happens.
The desperate male (not for love though):
I love Japan. I want to stay. You: SJF, 20s, cute and smart, looking for a SWM for marriage. I work hard, and will love you deeply.
The modest male looking for a modest lady:
Handsome Italian man seeks nice and good-looking woman, 20-40, for long-term relationship. If you're sexy and serious, please email w/photo.
The nerd with no agenda (apparently):
American male, 30s, seeks JF for friendship and language exchange. Let's meet at your favorite cafe for chatting, practicing English and Japanese, and fun.
The 'I am bored of KAWAII' male:
Foreign lady sought by Italian man, in Tokyo, who's tired of the usual Japanese women. Nice, good-looking woman sought to spend good times with, for long-lasting relationship.
The guy that thinks he is a girl:
Guy, 28. Buy me dinner and I will have sex with you. Simple. Alcohol required at times. I'm really hot.
The romantic dreamer:
Gentle American, 36, handsome (like an actor), intelligent, in Tokyo publishing business, never married and no children (but wants), seeks SJF for life-long love starting with a romantic Christmas.
The social worker:
European volunteer, clean and safe, offers a good ear, intelligent talk and sex therapy to Japanese married women. Weekday afternoons only.
Daddyo:
Asian-American, 30s, 178cm, single, investment banker in Tokyo, seeks casual dating partner. Email me if you want to be pampered and have fun!
There's really no need to consider too many classifieds in the section 'Women for Men'. This one sums them all up with few exceptions:
The undemanding, easy to please lady:
Serious relationship sought with a nice, smart, tall, fit, romantic and handsome, financially secure single Western men, 30s. Single Japanese female, late 30s, cute, smart and sexy. Yes, I am looking for my Mr Right. Email w/photo. Serious only please.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Reasons why you can be late at work in Japan
Being born and raised in Italy, I always thought I knew the business of school/work laziness and related excuses to justify absences and lateness. Couldn't have been more wrong and naive. Below a list of the most recent excuses (from September to November 2008 ONLY) used by my team leader when being late for work. She is this cute Japanese lady and I like her a lot but every time I get this sort of messages I wonder... Italian and Japanese, they are all lazy really. The problem is that Japanese cannot get away with it because they haven't understood the concept of being credible when bullshiting... Judging by the excuses below, I wouldn't necessarily think it's a virtue...
Toyoko line had some problem. Train was late. I will be late 10 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, I will be late 10 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, I had a headache this morning. I will be late 20 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, the door of train is broken. I will be late 5 miuntes.
I will be late 10 miunts since trains are late.
Hi Team, I will be late 15 miuntes. I didn't feel well this morning. Thanks
I felt sick and got off the train at the Ebisu. Sorry i will be late 20miuntes. Thanks.
P.S. Spelling errors left on purpose
Toyoko line had some problem. Train was late. I will be late 10 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, I will be late 10 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, I had a headache this morning. I will be late 20 miuntes. Sorry.
Hi Team, the door of train is broken. I will be late 5 miuntes.
I will be late 10 miunts since trains are late.
Hi Team, I will be late 15 miuntes. I didn't feel well this morning. Thanks
I felt sick and got off the train at the Ebisu. Sorry i will be late 20miuntes. Thanks.
P.S. Spelling errors left on purpose
Saturday, November 8, 2008
One night in Yoyogi Uehara
I went out with my very good friend Renee few weeks ago. We had dinner in a cozy little place not far from Yoyogi Uehara station and then walked to one of her Japanese girlfriends' shop. Amazing shop, full of hand-made yukata with the most unexpected patterns, to wear with leather obi and sexy pink sandals. I don't know why I felt so intrigued by it, I guess it's that surprising blend of tradition and innovation, past and future, passive acceptance and furious rebellion... Here she is, the owner of this tiny messy and magic shop in Yoyogi Uehara, wearing her own sexy creation. Just great.Friday, November 7, 2008
It's Friday again
Ed e' di nuovo venerdi. Per fortuna che ho superato la settimana incolume ed e' ormai quasi finita. Da dimenticare. Comunque ecco le ultime chicche dal Giappone:
Fashion victims...
[Obama is the new president of the United States, this counts everywhere]1 million: Number of people, including former US Secretary of State Colin Powell and Sen. Hillary Clinton, who have bought the rimless glasses popularized by Alaska Gov Sarah Palin. The eyewear is produced by the Fukui-based Masunaga Optical)
Japanese sense of guilt
Three Kyoto Sangyo University students who were suspended for 14 days for defacing the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore cathedral in Florence with graffiti, donated about ¥150,000 to the World Heritage site to help clean up their mess.
Japanese wonders
A green potted plant at Bowls Cafe in Kamakura has been keeping a daily online blog (http://plant.bowls-cafe.jp/index.php). Midori-san, as the plant is known, writes regular updates using sensors attached to its leaves by a member of the Keio University engineering department. Entries include riveting stuff like “Today it was sunny and I was able to sunbathe a lot.”
Fashion victims...
[Obama is the new president of the United States, this counts everywhere]1 million: Number of people, including former US Secretary of State Colin Powell and Sen. Hillary Clinton, who have bought the rimless glasses popularized by Alaska Gov Sarah Palin. The eyewear is produced by the Fukui-based Masunaga Optical)
Japanese sense of guilt
Three Kyoto Sangyo University students who were suspended for 14 days for defacing the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore cathedral in Florence with graffiti, donated about ¥150,000 to the World Heritage site to help clean up their mess.
Japanese wonders
A green potted plant at Bowls Cafe in Kamakura has been keeping a daily online blog (http://plant.bowls-cafe.jp/index.php). Midori-san, as the plant is known, writes regular updates using sensors attached to its leaves by a member of the Keio University engineering department. Entries include riveting stuff like “Today it was sunny and I was able to sunbathe a lot.”
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