Domestic and International Affairs: latest news from Asia

N. Korea Reportedly Seeking Corporate Sponsors for Next Missile Launch
With its economy crippled by years of international sanctions, North Korea has devised an ingenious plan to fill its government coffers: tagging the sides of its Taepodong missile with corporate logos.

Officials have reportedly approached a number of well-known international companies about the plan, with mixed results. A spokesperson for Starbucks Japan who spoke to The Negi on condition of anonymity pointed out that, due to the rocket’s altitude when cruising over the major markets of Kansai and Kanto, it is unlikely that the logo would be visible to the naked eye. Coca-Cola Corp. seemed warmer to the idea, with a spokesperson saying, “This may be the last surface on earth we do not now have advertisements on.” The sponsorship opportunity was greeted most enthusiastically by McDonald’s Corp, which unveiled a mock-up of its planned ad that reads: “The end is near! Beat the heat of nuclear Armageddon with a McFlurry. Now in Oreo™ flavor!”

Gov’t: Economy on Rebound as Chihuahua Sales, Teen Prostitution Rise
Recently released figures from the finance ministry suggest that the recession has bottomed out and that Japan’s fiscal health is improving. The report cited a rise in three key economic indicators: the median number of occupied seats in Starbucks, the sale of Chihuahuas, and the average monthly income of teen prostitutes. The spike in all three market sectors indicates that Japanese consumers have begun pouring money back into the economy.

Some analysts, however, warn that while the income levels of teen prostitutes are returning to pre-recession levels, it is not yet certain that the money is being funneled back into the economy in the form of brand-name handbags, nail art and choux cream pastries.

“Let’s not forget the lost generation of young girls who missed out on their earning prime during the recession,” a finance ministry spokesman said. “The economy is coming back, but too late for some women who have aged out of their teens during the downturn.”

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From Metropolis #801